Pure

At the first of the year K-Love wanted you to pick one word and that be your word for the year. Kind of like a new years resolution but with one word having a bigger impact on you than a normal resolution. I prayed about this and wanted to have a word - I chose "pure" I desire to have my mind, my heart, and life more pure. I know this song isn't new but I just love it -

March and April have been busy - as you can tell from my lack of postings. I had signed up to teach 3 of the Wednesday night ladies classes and then I had to talk to a "young mom class" that meets on Tuesday mornings. I told Greg I don't know why I sign up for ways of putting myself in a position to get in front of ladies and talk. I could teach children about the Bible every day - but adults - ugghhh - I am get so nervous and have to beg God to just speak through me, because it is so out of my comfort zone. I love to prepare, I love to write and especially study, and God is so amazing how He guides me and opens my eyes to things I would not see on my own, I can tell people I am close to about these things and be so excited - but when it comes time to get up and actually speak - not good - my voice shakes as well as every part of my body! God has such a sense of humor with me - the 1st time I had worked for weeks on a power point presentation that I had put to a song. We got to the Church early and Greg was going to set up the projector for me and when we got there both of the projectors were being used by other teachers - screech.......... panic - but my sweet Greg worked it all out and I got to use a projector and that night went ok - 2nd time to teach I got a migraine and at 6:30 (teach at 7:00) I honestly thought I was going to be sick - much prayer and a Sonic diet coke that I downed right before class - but it was all God that got me through - 3rd time I am in front of the ladies and during the prayer to start the class as my head is bowed I see my zipper is Wide Open - bulging - ok do I zip during the prayer or afterwards???? God has such a sense of humor and He has to keep me humble so I will depend on Him every second. But always I have to fight the negative thoughts that come after a talk and I have to keep telling myself they are from Satan and pray that I will know to discern if they are from God or Satan.

We just finished the Bible study, "Breaking Free" and I am almost done with the book Insecurity and planning on going Saturday to the simulcast of it (yeah!) So my prayer is that I can become "secure" to do God's will not mine.

I do not want to let my "past" of happened for nothing. I still have to remember if God brought me through it, He can use all things, no matter what.

I want to serve God in ways "He" wants me to serve. I want to remember I do all things to please "Him" not others. I never want to do something that is out of His will.

My desire is to be pure in all things - pl

** I wrote the above last night asking the question do I continue to teach and work through the uncomfortable feelings or do I stop trying to do something that is just not me and just teach children.....I deleted that part because - this morning in my quite time this is the passage that jumped off the page:

Philippians 1:9-11 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God.

God will work this out in my heart and mind - I just ask for prayers to be pure and seek His will.