A Pure Heart

Ok - with Thanksgiving in 2 days - I should be making a list of what I am thankful for...but I have to say God is laying this so heavy on my heart I just have confess this and get it worked out in my heart and mind - here goes.... We had court this week and there was a particular case of a handicapped lady that was caught stealing ( she was already on probation for stealing and was caught stealing again). She has a bad reputation and for the most part been given lots of chances. I sat there and listened to the evidence, watched a video of the crime, and I knew that I had a hardness in my heart toward this case. I felt no mercy for her, I just wanted her to realize she could not work the system using her handicap. My job is not to decide guilt or innocence, I am just the keeper of the records, but sitting in court and hearing it all I tend to get caught up in it. I realized my harsh attitude and admitted it....but I thought justice should be done. In the testimony it came out that the house she was living in with others had "no" running water. She admitted to using drugs and the attorney for the State said the money she stole was for drugs. She testified no it was for food - that she was hungry. She was sentenced to go to prison - I am so thankful that our Judge is very fair, he listens to all the evidence, and he explained to her that she stole from a girl at a youth group, from kids trying to make good choices of being at a youth fun night - and that her actions shattered all those youths trust. But what I was hit so hard with this morning was....who am I????

I am not told to look down on people, I am not told to judge others,

I am told to pray for everyone....I am told to have a love for everyone.... I have been shown by God so much mercy, forgiveness and love - really who do I think I am?

Yes, I believe the punishment fit the crime and there are consequences to our actions -

but what I need to do from now on is to pray for their soul, let them see the love of Christ in my eyes, pray that someone will share the "Good News" (even if it's in prison) with them. My desire in this world is to have such a pure heart it is evident to all that know me - but as you just read I feel very far from having a pure heart. I know that I have got to cling so tight to Jesus, His Word, and have a tender heart toward all. I am thankful that even after I mess up, He is still able to prick my heart to see my sin.... God has placed me in my job, and I just need to realize every single person that I come in contact with was also created by God. I am blessed to have running water, food, and health - forgive me Father when I am not compassionate toward others. It is times like this that I realize that oh sure it's easy to talk the "Jesus talk" but when the real facts hit you in the face of how you feel, how you think, and how you react, there are times when the "Jesus talk" doesn't align with "self" - I love God with all my heart, soul and mind - with tears in my eyes I feel a peace in my heart of knowing that God isn't through with me yet - luv ya, pl